Moms Worry

Tomorrow is the day! The day I get to see my newest little girl. We are scheduled for a c-section (yes, all of mine have been c-sections and I'm good with that ... a different post for a different day), and in if I were to confess, I'm looking forward to my hospital stay. 

My body is tired after carrying this little one around for 9 months along with the other 3 rowdy cute kids who reside in our home. They have been so excited (well, the girls are anyway) for the newest addition, but that doesn't keep them from dirtying dishes or asking me to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner, or jumping through mud puddles, etc.

Right now I'm looking forward to someone bringing me breakfast, lunch and dinner and the quiet time I will have (you know, between the nurse/doctor visits and friends and family visits that I totally love! and the nighttime feedings) to bond with this new little one. 

At the same time, I worry. I worry about my three other babes. What if someone can't find their shoes in the morning before school? What if they forget their lunch boxes or their homework? What if they wake up in the middle of the night and forget that mom isn't there to snuggle them for a couple of days? What if their toast gets cut into squares instead of triangles?

Don't get me wrong... my mother is going to be here to help take care of them and she did an amazing job of taking care of me! But moms worry. We want everyone to be happy. We want everything to be just right for our kiddos. And let's face it, there are some things that only moms do ... like put notes in their lunchboxes ... read scripture stories during breakfast time ... warm their blankets just before bed time so they are comfy cozy and don't want to get up. 

Yes, they will all be living. No, they won't go to school in dirty clothes. No, they won't starve or freeze at night. But I will miss being there for all of the little things. And I will worry. But just a little. Because it will all start back over when I return!

The Monday Turn Around

Today started out just plain bad. I was having "mommy guilt" to the max! Like, I couldn't even get my act together before noon (stupid pregnancy hormones!). 

But then, something happened. I was able to let go a little.

Lucie and I trekked to the store where she picked out everything her little heart could possibly want. And when mommy said "no, not today," she simply put it back and said "ok, next time we can get it."

Then back at home, I was making some bread to go with dinner. Usually I'm in a rush to get this done and prepped before the big kids get home. But my little helper wanted in on the action. I took her little hands in mine and together, we kneaded the dough. 

After we picked the older two up from the bus, they begged to ride bikes. After almost 2 weeks of rain and overall yucky weather, it was easy to say "yes". So up and down the road we went; Me giving Maecie a nudge here and there, while trying to keep up with Clayton and making sure Lucie didn't get left behind. 

We sat at the dinner table where no one told me the food was yucky. There may have been things on their plate that they didn't eat, but they didn't complain either. And while we ate, we talked about school and our favorite things we did today.

We played outside for a little longer and then came back in to have Family Home Evening. (every Monday, we try to set aside time to spend together as a family. We have a short lesson centered on the scriptures and teachings of Jesus Christ, then maybe a treat and activity.) We made rice crispy treats and while they were cooling, learned how Adam and Eve practiced their agency, or ability to make choices. We talked about the different choices we make at school and with our friends. And while they colored some pictures about the creation of the Earth, I passed out rice crispy treats.

They may have gone to bed a little later than normal.

The house may not be as tidy as it was before school let out.

Daddy may still be at work, meaning I had to put them to bed all by myself (my least favorite part of the day!).

But we made memories. And my "mommy guilt" is gone, at least for today.

Grumpy Beare Confessions

To say I have taken a break from blogging would be an understatement. Life has just been busy and finding time to sit in front of the computer has been more than I can focus on. 

However, as I was writing in my journal tonight (I've tried to continue that at least), I felt the need to share my feelings publicly. It took me a few minutes to remember how to log into my blog account, but I finally did it. And here goes..

My confession: I have been pretty grumpy!

Of course, I can blame some of my grumpiness on your basic pregnancy hormones. Or the fact that it's so hot and humid outside no one wants to play. Or the fact that my husband has worked CrAzY hours this summer so that I feel like a single mom. Or that I haven't been as diligent on my scripture study and prayers since pregnancy got in the way.

Or we can just combine them all together because it's all true.

But Sunday was a good day. Well, most of it was...

At church, I felt like a few people went out of their way to stop and talk to me. I am often away from my normal church family and traveling to other churches throughout the year. This can cause me to feel like a fish out of water on Sundays when I am at "home" since I don't see the other members as often. To have 3 or 4 people stop and talk to me and ask questions about me and my family made me feel special, missed, and loved.

Then I went to Relief Society (the women's class at church) and the lesson was on an incredible talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf titled "The Gift of Grace". The lesson and talk reminded me that the gift of our Savior's Atonement isn't just for forgiveness of our sins. But it is there to comfort, to allow blessings to be poured out, and to feel our Heavenly Father's love. It's is there to lift us up - to "unlock the gates of heaven and open the windows of heaven."

I left the class feeling uplifted and renewed! My heart needed those words to realize that it's ok. That I have the opportunity to turn to my Heavenly Father for love and comfort when I'm feeling grumpy.

And then I went home ... where the children whined and I burnt the grilled cheese. 

I am so grateful for tomorrows. For being able to start again. For having the Savior's atonement work for me. When I can't do it all, He is there to make up the difference. 

I know that I can do hard things. I know that someone else's "hard thing" might be harder than my "hard thing", but that as long as I am learning from my personal journey, I am moving upward. 

School started today for my oldest. And my second will be starting school on Thursday. Today brought changes and routine and I know that is what my heart, my mind, and my body needed. Tomorrow, I will work towards being even better than today.

A Moment

I have a confession:

 I have a weak stomach, in a sense...

When it come to CSI, Bones, and NCIS, I can handle it! These are some of my favorite murder-mystery shows that may display some bloody, bone-exposed, and scarred body parts. But they don't bother me so much.

However, someone starts vomiting profusely and I begin dry-heaving!

So when my sweet children began showing signs of the stomach bug, my usually rock solid stomach became queasy.

I've been cleaning sheets, changing clothes, wiping butts, filling cups and snuggling sickies. They have each taken a turn being sick, but luckily, mom and dad have sidestepped this ugly bug. 

There is even more of a silver lining I have found. Lately, we have been very busy. Trying to get ready for a kitchen remodel (more to come on that soon), many appointments, play dates, gym time, and more laundry. So busy that we really haven't been spending much quality time together. 

This household stomach bug has forced the hubby and me to slow down and take care of our family. 

For the past couple of days, we have had to "enjoy the moment." Even though it hasn't been a glorious moment, we have still enjoyed the snuggles, the Dora reruns, and some extra storytime. 

Sorry, no pictures today ... we were just enjoying our time together!

The Bad Word

I have a confession ... 

I said a bad word!

But let me defend myself -

I'm making a cake for an activity for the ladies at church. It, of course, is a very chocolatey cake. Maecie was in the kitchen with me, eyeing every piece of chocolate goodness I was putting in the recipe. I gave her a few chocolate chips in hopes that it would pacify her until I could get lunch going. Unfortunately, those chocolate chips just made her want more and more.

After she asked for more chocolate, I told her we would have lunch in just a bit and she needed to wait. She proceeded to ask for more chocolate and say that she didn't want lunch, just chocolate. 

My sweet little girl was asking over and over and over for more candy, more chocolate. I was going as fast as I could to get this cake in the oven and baking and was starting to get a little frustrated. Finally, I looked at Maecie and told her that my answer was "No. No, she could not have more chocolate and she would have to wait until after lunch." And I was firm in my delivery.

She lowered her head and ran to her room. A few minutes later I heard her singing and went to check on her.

She had lined up her dolls on her bed and she was singing this song {don't forget to sing this in the most pitiful 2 year old voice you can muster}, "I want some chocolate. But Mommy won't give me some. Mommy said a bad word!"

"What bad word did I say, Maecie?", I asked. Continuing to sing, Maecie responded, "Mommy told me no. Mommy said a bad word!"

Yes, ladies and gents, this mommy said, "No"! How could I have done such a thing? How could I have said such a bad word in front of my daughter? Well, honestly, it's because I'm a mean mommy. Any time my children want to spoil their appetites with junk food, I tell them no. If they want to watch TV before doing homework, or refuse to do their chores because they want to go play, I tell them "No". I don't give in to their every plea. This may make me a mean mommy, but it's who I am and how I parent.

In my opinion, parents need to say this bad word from time to time. We can't always give our children what they want because then they will grow up expecting to get what they have always gotten. Instead, we need to show them that there are boundaries in life. It might not seem like that would be the lesson learned, but it is a start. 

I love my kiddos and their ability to call me out when I've said a "bad word"! 

**Don't worry, I hugged my sweet girl, told her I loved her. Then we ate lunch and played princess tea party.**

Steps and Steps

Holy Hiatus, Batman! 

I have been so incredibly busy that typing information into my computer has been pretty low on the totem pole. BUT, I would really like to change that.

Confession #1 of the 2013 year {in February, no less}:

I like to count my steps! 

No, I do not sit there and physically count my steps all day long. I wear a pedometer. The brand I use is called a fitbit and it is on my person 24 hours a day!

The nifty little contraption can fit just about anywhere from your pants pocket to your bra strap. 

This little pedometer not only tells me how many steps I take a day, but how many calories I burn, how many flights of stairs I climb, how many miles I walk, and the time. At night, it can track how many times I wake up during my sleep. {So interesting to compare nights you feel more rested than others!} And best of all, I can track my daily, weekly, and even monthly progress online.

A big plus, while I'm still battling with this baby weight, is that I can also track my calorie intake ON MY iPHONE!!! How awesome is that?! 

My daily goal is to have 7,000-10,000 steps a day ... 7,000 is fairly easy to get if you are moving constantly throughout the day. But 10,000 usually only comes on days I go to the gym. {I have stepped as many as 12,000 steps in a day, but my feet were sore by the end of the day!!}

And of course, it's almost like a game. What is the highest percentage of my goal that I can attain in a day/week? If I'm close to meeting another 500-1,000 steps, you could see me walking/jogging/dancing in my room before bed. I may be extremely exhausted, but my desire achieve my goal supersedes my desire for sleep. I. MUST. HAVE. MORE. STEPS! 

Honestly, I feel more energized and active because of my need to count steps! 

**These are my own opinions. I was not compensated for this post, just wanted to share my love for this product and how it has helped me in my life!**

Best Family Night!

Friday night was the best family night! 

Confession: We don't have a ton of "planned" family nights. Our family time usually consists of McD's or a movie before bed. But that's just the business of life right now. So when we do have a planned event, I get a little excited.

Friday was the day we went to see Santa! It's kind of our family Christmas tradition now.{ I guess if you do it the same way three years in a row, it's tradition, right?!} 

First, we visited Santa at Bass Pro Shop ... aka ... the fish store. He is the cutest Santa and they always do such a great job with pics! No one complains if you take your own pictures and they still give you a freebie! And he really listens to what the kids have to say....always a big plus!

Aren't they the CUTEST kids ever?? Or maybe I'm just a little biased!

Then, of course, we visit the fish!

And after all of that excitement, we eat dinner at Steak and Shake! That's how I convince my hubby to going out on a Friday at Christmas time. {He really dislikes traffic and huge crowds of people} 

We finished the night with a trip to the Dollar Store! Maecie found everything princess, Clayton found everything Superhero, and Mom got great stocking stuffers while Dad and Lucie perused the aisles. And of course, Clayton entertained all of the workers with his stories and explanations of everything he was purchasing.

We went early {right at 4:30pm or so}, made sure everyone had eaten, and had many distractions {fish, rides on daddy's shoulders, taking pictures with mom's phone, and straws!} It was a fabulous night. My favorite family tradition!